Confessions
by Tonkswyrda
Summary: After being forced to leave Harry's birthday dinner by Scrimegour's arrival, Tonks decides it might finally be time to tell Remus something rather important...


It was strange how quickly it had all happened; how fast the atmosphere at the birthday table had changed as soon as Arthur's patronus had landed, announcing the Minister was accompanying him. Tonks saw everyone else looking round at each other in confusion, while her own heart sunk. She was probably the last person Scrimegour would want to see here, at Harry's birthday party.

Remus was clearly thinking the same thing. There was so much anti-werewolf legislation and rallying going on at the ministry, and whatever Scrimegour was here for, having a werewolf present was not going to do anything to help the situation. Pale and frustrated, he grabbed her hand, pulling her up.

"We should go- sorry Harry, I'll explain later-"

Grabbing her jacket, Tonks turned as Remus led her not towards the front gate, but to the fence, on the other side of which lay the field Hagrid had set up his tent in. "Happy birthday!" she waved awkwardly, before turning back to Remus and hissing "What's wrong with the front gate?"

"Scrimegour will be coming that way, and it'll be even worse if we run into him while we're leaving."

Tonks sighed. She supposed he was right.

"I'm sorry we can't stay, it's my fault…"

His voice trailed off, and Tonks shook her head adamantly. "It's not your fault everyone at the ministry seems to be a pig these days. Its fine, sweetie. Honestly."

He nodded absently, and she knew he didn't really believe her.

They were walking in silence, which she hated. Not that she hated when they weren't talking; but it was an uncomfortable kind of silence, and she wasn't entirely sure how to break it, and it was clear he wasn't going to.

They were over the fence and half way through the field when the inevitable happened- she tripped and went sprawling- trying to twist herself around so she would land on her stomach- or more like what was growing inside, which she still hadn't told him about. She ended up in the stupidest position, arms and legs in the air. Remus snorted, pulling her to her feet.

Maybe she should tell him now.

Then again, maybe she should never tell him. He was going to freak. Maybe she could lock herself in a closet for nine months. That sounded like a safe bet.

She sighed. Actually, it sounded entirely ridiculous.

"Remus…" she took a deep breath. "There's something I have to tell you."

"Alright." He was walking ahead of her, apparently unaware of the nervousness of her voice.

She hadn't moved, and he turned back, frowning when he realized she wasn't keeping up.

Walking back to her, he took her hands in his. "What is it?" he was starting to sound a little worried now.

Rightfully so, she had to admit. Everything about this… she didn't want it to be this horrible. The timing was disastrous; war was about to break out any day, and she would end up being completely useless in any kind of battle. Remus' reaction was going to be a nightmare. Especially once he realized she'd been pregnant when they'd gone to collect Harry. Her parents' reactions were going to be, if possible, even worse. Strangely enough, she was the only calm one in the situation. She just felt there was no point freaking out while everything was relatively fine. The only part of it that she was dreading and had been trying to avoid like the plague was telling her husband.

But she had to do it now, or it would be too late.

"I need you to promise me you're going to stay calm, okay? Maybe take a moment to get into a calm place, because the next word is kind of scary. Go ommmmmmmm."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Okay. I'm calm. Did you get fired?"

She let out a short burst of hysterical laughter. "Um, no." she looked away, looking at the country side, the moon casting a milky hue across it all. Looking back at his confused face, she finally said it.

"I'm pregnant."

His face was void of all expression, as he dropped her hands and stepped back.

Definitely not taking it well. She could practically see the cogs of his self-depreciating brain working against him.

"Remus? Please... please say something?"

"How long- how long have you known?"

She shrugged, sitting in the long grass and wrapping her arms around her knees. "A week or so. Not that long."

He didn't sit down with her.

"A week? You- you knew- you knew you were pregnant when we bought Harry back! Why didn't you say something?" his tone was accusatory.

"Because you wouldn't have let me go, and you all needed me there." She said stubbornly.

"Too right I wouldn't have let you go! What if Bellatrix-" he stopped, sighing, flopping into the grass beside her.

"Are you angry with me?" she whispered.

He shook his head, clasping one of her hands in his own. "I'm angry at me. It's my fault... if I'd just used a damn contraceptive charm-"

"NO. It's not your fault. It's not anybody's fault. It just happened, okay? It's not like there's anything we can do about it now."

He wasn't looking at her, but she could tell he was thinking that actually yes, there was something they could do about it.

"Don't, Remus. Don't even think it. I'm not getting rid of it."

"I know. I know you wouldn't. But... I'm scared for you."

She frowned, moving closer to him. "Why?"

"What if it's like me? What if it tries to rip its way out of you on a full moon, what if it infects-"

"STOP IT!" she pulled away, standing. "Why do you always have to think like that?"

She heard him stand, but he didn't approach her. "Because it could happen. It might."

She shook her head. "It can't. Both parents have to be werewolves for it to be passed on. It's not hereditary. You don't give it to your children like your hair colour."

"You can't know that for sure. I doubt there's ever been a case like us."

"We're not a case!" she turned back, eyes blazing. "Why can't we just be two people, why can't you be happy that we'll have a family-" she choked, realising she was starting to cry. Angrily wiping the tears away, she pulled out of his reach as he reached out for her.

"Dora- I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't help it... I don't want our child to have to go through the world like I did. I don't want it to have to face the same kind of prejudice. It's not fair."

"It won't. I promise you, it won't."

He wasn't convinced, she knew it. Nevertheless, his hand wrapped around hers.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

She nodded, squeezing his hand tightly. He was unhappy; but if this was the worst of it, she was pretty sure she would be able to manage.

"Home?" he asked quietly.

"Home." She replied, and with a loud crack the both vanished, leaving nothing but footprints in the grass, which were impossible to see by the light of the moon.


End file.
